Let's Try This on Your Terms

Raise your hand if you’ve been asked if you’re trying...you know trying. We asked why it’s become normal for friends, family, companies, and complete strangers to question women about their fertility journey. And when we listened to women tell us their personal stories, we knew these questions needed to stop.

You're not alone

We’ve been there and knew there needed to be a more empowered way forward. Whether you’re trying to start a family or not sure if kids are part of your story, we’re on a mission to help women navigate their fertility journey on their terms, starting with their stories.

After years of not getting pregnant, we just gradually let go of the expectation and focused on other things in life - job, school, etc. In the end, we chose not to have kids. YES I felt external pressure: From friends, family, acquaintances, RETAILERS.

My siblings all have multiple kids. It's funny, we spend a lot of our time preventing pregnancy, assuming it will happen quickly (often, it does!). But when you actually decide that you want to have kids, often it's really hard and a long road. You tell people you're "trying' and they get very excited and WAIT...for the good news.I learned that just because someone doesn't have kids doesn't mean they 1.) do/don't want them, 2.) can/can't have them, 3.) that they have never been pregnant.

It's your journey. There is no script, you are writing it as you go. It's ok to be honest and it's ok not to share all your cards.  It's ok to say no. And it's ok to say yes. No matter what you choose, you are still a whole and good human.

I got pregnant at 34 (the month before turning 35) after being told for over a decade how “difficult” getting pregnant would be. Multiple doctors had told me I had PCOS and that regardless of my extremely timely and regular periods, I was “ovulating blanks.”

I got pregnant naturally with the help of Chinese herbal formulas and gave birth to a healthy baby boy last November. The lows of getting pregnant at 35 were the doctors (and media) trying to scare you about the increased risks of genetic disorders and whatnot, with every test draining me until the day I got my results.

Get tested. Knowing all the info about your reproductive health will help you make EDUCATED decisions for you and your body.

After about a year of being married my husband and I decided to try for a child. We tried for a year with zero luck. When we sought help I was initially told I had fluid in my Fallopian tubes and should get surgery right away and wouldn’t be able to have children at all. Good thing I did not agree to surgery. I sought a second opinion and once the proper testing was done it showed I had absolutely no fluid in my Fallopian tubes. I had to have surgery which showed I had endometriosis that was pretty bad. Although this was the case I was told the pregnancy was not off the table.

To prep for this fertility journey I prepped internally and externally. I stopped speaking with negative people, listening to negative media, etc. I prepped internally by working out an hour per day, eating very healthy, cutting out all sugar, and taking supplements recommended by the fertility specialist. A few months later we started our journey with 3 IUIs which did not work. After we decided to go all or nothing and do IVF. 9 eggs but only 3 fertilized and we implanted 2. A few weeks later we were told we were pregnant! This was just 7 months after being told we could not have children.

UPDATE: We recently found out we are pregnant again with absolutely no intervention, just a healthy diet, exercise, and minimal stress.

We knew we wanted our own family.The advice I would give to someone going down this fertility journey is to stay positive. Surround yourself with positive people who are going to help you through and support you no matter what. Partner with a “fertility friend” someone who has gone through it or is going through it. The fertility specialist I went to had this option for “fertility friends” and it was amazing to have someone support you who truly understood. Do not let anyone tell you anything. This is your body, your choice and everything is happening at the exact time it is meant to happen for you.

One thing that worked for me was daily meditation, journaling every day about my future child, and researching. I put myself in the mindset that my baby was already in my belly and it changes your mindset for the better in my opinion.

I was born with a congenital disease, which for me, meant that my urogenital system was severely underdeveloped. Medical care was not optimized for adolescents, let alone those like me who came from impoverished, immigrant, Spanish-speaking families.

As I got older, I had so many questions about what it meant to live with my disability; namely, if it would be safe for me to have children in my body. The sad reality of complex adolescent care is that disabled adolescents do not have smooth transitions into adult care, so my first gynecologic screening wasn't until I was 25.

That was the first time a medical provider did not make assumptions about my disabled life, and instead, walked me through what a high-risk pregnancy might look like for me. Currently, I am not sold on having a child in my body (I think pregnancy itself is scary - not to mention all of the ways in which that is layered for disabled BIPOC), but I'm very open to creating a family through foster care and/or adoption.